Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Brain, Defunked

Listening to my trusty 100.3 The Sound on the way into work this morning, a familiar song came out the car speakers.

“Turkey Apple Ferris Wheel”.

Wait … that’s not the title. Wait.

Oh, yeah. It’s "Trapped Aardvark Just Working Out".

No, no, no. That’s not it either.

Okay! I remember! I got it: “Too Many Pews Facing Out”.

What in the world … ?!? How could I possibly forget the name of this tune? I know the artist, Bruce Springsteen of course. So … why can’t I get the title working in my mind?

“Tent Amy’s Are Freaking Out”?

“Test Anime Faking Kraut”?

“Tea Paring Knife Drinking Stout”?

Good Gordness! I need more coffee.

I look down at the display on my stereo. It reads “Tenth Avenue Freeze Out”, you bonehead.

Naw. That can’t be it ….

……………………………. Ruprecht ( STOP )

Monday, August 17, 2009

I Have A Shoe Problem ...

I have a shoe problem.

I also have a clothing problem … but that’s best left for a different blog entry. (Mayhap by the reading of my shoe problem, you might catch a hint of what my clothing problem is.)

Yes. I have a shoe problem.

It manifested itself over the weekend. And it became necessary for me to give in to it. Yes. I purchased a pair of shoes. (Well … technically my wife did. It was she who actually conducted the transaction. So that really wasn’t a problem.)

Here’s the situation:

We’ll have to vault back to a time ... many, many years ago when there was actually a Mervyn’s department store … before they went out of business. Because that was the last time I purchased a pair of shoes. (And, if memory serves, that too was a transaction conducted by my wife.)

I was ambling about in the shoe section while my patient spouse was failing in her attempt to get our daughter to settle on any pair of shoes to wear (an ongoing dilemma to this day).

Aimlessly wandering about, I happened upon a clearance rack. There, at eye level, was a black box. I don’t recall the name on the box, but something caught my eye. It was an oval sticker claiming “85% off”. I scanned the box for the original sticker price. Finding it, it claimed the shoes were $95.00. I quickly did the math: At 85% off, they would ring up at a mere $14.25. I decided to get them. Where else was I going to find a pair of spiffy dress shoes for $14.25?

Heading to the register, they were scanned. They came up something completely and totally different than the $14.25 figure I had come up with in my head.

Something radically different.

Two ... Dollars ... Sixteen ... Cents.

“Are you certain?” I inquired of the sales lady assisting me. She was certain.

And, therein, lies my shoe problem: I will be hard pressed to find another pair of dress shoes - ones around $100.00 - that will ring up at $2.16.

Years went by. And the problem continued to be just that. A problem seemingly without end.

That was … until this past weekend.

The wife was tending to the girls and they're inability to decide on shoes for school. She seemed a bit frustrated, so I stayed away and let her deal with them. In this case, misery does not love company, I thought.

And then, suddenly, another black box before me.

$80.00, the box beckoned. $80.00 with a discount sticker attached to it. An 80% off sticker at that. That made’em $16.00 out the door.

Or did it?

Could my fortune of those many years ago be re-manifesting itself once more? Would I get up to the check out register and have the box scanned by a helpful associate only to find that $16.00 price was naught?

Fat chance.

They rang up at $16.00. Plus tax.

You see … I have a shoe problem.

I hunt for the elusive single-dollar pair of dress shoes …

............................. Ruprecht ( STOP )

Saturday, August 15, 2009


Rupe received an e-mail from Wife of Rupe yesterday and it did nothing less than crack me up. Rupe got permission from her to post it with her comments attached.

And yes ... I had a note or two as well .....

5 Things You Don't Need To Have In Common

If you were to take a an in-depth look at some of the couples who've successfully weathered every relationship storm, you'd be shocked to learn how little they might (superficially) have in common.

Sure it's cute to spend weeknights quoting The Simpsons in unison or have deep literary James Joycean discussions while rooting for the same football team with matching BBQ-tinged fingers, but honestly, many wonderful relationships are built on differences. It's how we vary the gene pool, afterall. In fact, the forces of attraction are so sophisticated that one should always rely on their gut—not clever packaging—when deciding who stays and goes. Below are a list of differences you may share with your significant other, that unlike basic manners, don't have to be dealbreakers. Watch: Dating Red Flags: Do You Ignore Them?

1. Different Music Taste

If you're cut from a cloth where self-worth is directly tied to music taste then this one may be tough. You may wince when you find that your bedmate du jour has never heard of Aaron Copland. You may want to run away screaming when they lack much of an opinion about Morrissey (and haven't even heard of The Smiths), but we think this is foolish. Unlike innate kindness or empathy, music knowledge is something that can be taught. And shared. So go and create that mix tape already. Read: Musicians Hear Emotion In Sound

HE IS DEAD ALREADY!!! Holy crap I can't believe they chose him to reference.

(Wife of Rupe has always contended Morrissey is "dead". Yes, Rupe knows - this logic fails me as he is sure it does you reading this. He was "dead" during his solo career ... he was "dead" during his Smiths years. When a song of his comes on the radio, the comment is always "He's dead." She swears she heard a news report stating he was dead and lived by that report to this very day.)

2. Intellectual Tastes

Let's say you make a visit to Barnes and Noble and you're drawn to Nietzsche but your lover is more a trashy memoir/easy beach read type of a person. So what? At least you're both, er, reading. OK, OK, we get it. You may see reading material, education level, profession as a reflection of a person's intelligence—but this isn't always the case, my friend. What you really need to look for is breadth of knowledge in the chosen area. You might be working on a graduate degree in anthropology from a fancy pants university, but what do you know about laying bricks? The scene in My Cousin Vinny when Marisa Tomei unleashes her almost God-like knowledge of car tires and all but frees her man's clients comes to mind as a perfect example.

Are they seriously bagging on my smut books?! Unbelievable.

(Not really so unbelievable as one might think .....)

3. Friend Tastes

Yes, birds of a feather flock together and you are who you hang with and blah blah blah. We've heard it. We've heard it all. But just because your boyfriend's college buddies are a poor (very poor) man's parody of Wedding Crashers and you don't connect with her BFF's discussions about The Hills (but is it real?!) doesn't mean this new flame is a no go. Now if you notice a trend that's a bit more, er, red flag-y—say multiple friends in jails across the country—then perhaps it's something to look into. Perhaps.

FRIENDS?! What friends, we alienate them all.

(We do have the proclivity to lean in this direction, Rupe must admit .....)

4. Spending / Saving Habits

This one's dicey. You should absolutely err on the side of caution when building a future with someone who, say, gambles away their paycheck. But research suggests savers are attracted to spenders and vice versa. Professors at the Wharton School of Finance and Northwestern University say the spender/saver relationship is just another way in which opposites attract.

We BOTH suck at this so it is mute!

(Rupe rejects this statement completely. Well ........ mostly. Okay, some.)

5. Style Tastes

This one's simple: if you don't like what they're working with make sweet suggestions. No matter where you are there's a mall somewhere close by, an outfit looking for a new home and a credit card just aching to be put to use. Sometimes it is that easy.

Neither of us has style so we were screwed to begin with!

(Rupe has style. He just has no ass .....)

.................. Ruprecht ( STOP )

Monday, August 3, 2009

50 Bands

Rupe was intrigued at Clark Brooks challenge in listing 50 Artists or Bands I've seen in concert.

The Rules: List the first 50 acts that come into your head. An act you saw at a festival counts, as do opening acts count, but only if you can't think of 50 other artists. In addition, list the first concert you ever saw.

This was pretty much a breeze for me ... but I see where it could get difficult for many. I got stuck a few times after 45, but an additional couple dozen came flooding in after I went to bed .....

2. The Cure
3. The Cramps
4. David Bowie
5. Depeche Mode
6. Flock Of Seagulls
7. Lyle Lovett
8. Queen
9. Lenny Kravitz
10. Frank Black
11. Tears For Fears
12. Crowded House
13. Stan Ridgway
14. Oingo Boingo
15. Annie Lennox
16. Sting
17. Peter Gabriel
18. Sweet Pea Atkinson
19. Booker T. & The MGs
20. Tones On Tail
21. The Police
22. The Clash
23. The The
24. 3 Dog Night
25. BTO
26. Wall Of Voodoo
27. The Blasters
28. The Reverand Horton Heat
29. Johnny Lang
30. Adam & The Ants
31. Thompson Twins
32. Stray Cats
33. The Fenigans
34. The Orb
35. Pet Shop Boys
36. El Vez
37. Mojo Nixon
38. The Doobie Brothers
39. The Gore Gore Girls
40. Men At Work
41. Tracy Chapman
42. Klaus Nomi
43. Grizzly Bear
44. Dick Dale
45. Haunted Garage
46. Dramarama
47. The B-52s
48. Love & Rockets
49. Graveyard Farmers
50. Andy Prieboy

First band I ever saw live? During high school years, Adam & The Ants at the Hollywood Bowl with my cousin.

........................ Ruprecht ( STOP )